To Go On Living
by Caramel1941
Summary: Do we only have one shot at this? Is this our only chance? What do we know? All we can do is sit here and live it. And we thrive in it. We love it, even with it's challenges and obstacles.  Harvey/Mike established relationship. Review and Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hello! I am Caramel1941 and this is my third story. I have two others (which I REALLY need to update. I will, soon, I promise!) and I decided to start my third, not because I wanted more works, but because I finally have thought out a long term story, which helps, A LOT. When I started watching Suits, I loved it. I mean, I don't understand it all the time, so don't expect a long and lengthy plot revolving around law, but I love the show for the characters and the character development I know will come over time with the show. Please, please, please REVIEW! You have no idea how much this pushes me to write more and update. I like being critiqued (constructively) and I like knowing what I need to work on. So, here goes. Enjoy!

"All of us failed to match our dreams of perfection. So I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible." – William Faulkner 

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Chapter I

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_Thwack! _Mike's head popped up and he was blindly looking around. Harvey stood before Mike's desk with a rolled up _New York Times_ in his hand and a smirk coloring his face, mirth in his eyes to match. "Sleeping on the job? Seriously? You've been working here how long?"

"Not my fault I stayed up last night," Mike replied groggily. He yawned; it was obvious he was on the verge of sleep once more. "And, anyways, I had finished the Dayton case about 90 minutes ago." Harvey shook his head.

"Well, why didn't you come bring me the file?"

"Because I wanted to see how you would react," Mike blatantly said. "Why do you think? I fell asleep!"

Harvey leaned over the partition and began organizing the loose papers on Mike's desk before placing them in a folder and handing them to him. Mike took them and placed them in his bag. "Come on, we're going home. Nobody else is here, and the cleaning crew is about to come in. Let's get something to eat and go to bed. Sound like a plan?"

Mike sighed in relief. "Food. Good food. Pizza with cheese **inside**__the crust!"

"Whatever you want, sweetcheeks."

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The lights from the city illuminated the apartment of Harvey Specter and Mike Ross. They sat on the couch, side by side, and the now empty box of pizza on the coffee table. Suits had been traded for T-shirts and sweats, and the TV was glowing of the Yankees/Mets game. Harvey was watching intently, every single play catching his eye. Mike, on the other hand, was bored out of his mind. Nothing was more boring than baseball, except, maybe, curling. Every few minutes, he would nod off before his head snapped back into position. The silence (besides the TV) was torture. He didn't know if he could take it any longer. "Harv-"

"Kid, what did I say about speaking during the baseball games?"

"That it is obnoxious and that I should never do it, because I ask too many questions." Harvey squeezed his hand, which was clasped in his own, in response.

"But-" His sentence was cut off by the glare Harvey was burning in the side of his head. Mike soldiered on. "-do we really have to watch baseball? Swimming is on! The world championships, no less. Ryan Lochte is going to be swimming the 400 IM, Phelps is swimming two relays and the 100 fly! They are going to be great races! For the past week we have been watching baseball, basketball, more baseball, and more basketball. Can we at least, for one night, watch one of my sports?"

Harvey stayed silent, not moving his gaze from Mike. "Did you breathe at all in that rant?" He deadpanned. Mike glared in return. "Normally, I would. However, this is not normal. This is the Yankees vs. the Mets. We are not watching swimming."

Mike huffed. "You know, baseball is on every night. Swimming comes around only five times every four years: the world championships before the Olympics, the national championships (aka the time trails) before the Olympics, the Olympics, the world championships after the Olympics, and the national championships after the Olympics. Just once, I would like to watch swimming."

A minute passed. The Mets gained a run. The Yankees still had yet to make three outs. Harvey's husband was on the verge of banning sex for the night if he did not change the channel to swimming. _Damn!_ He cursed internally. The channel flipped to swimming and he suddenly felt Mike kiss his cheek. "Thank you." He whispered.

"Yeah, yeah. I only did it to make you shut up." Mike only smiled knowingly before his gaze was turned to the screen.

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Harvey could finally understand why Mike always talked during his baseball games; he was bored. Like not just 'This is so boring' bored, but 'Oh my God, I would rather tear my eyes out before watching another minute of this' bored. So, naturally, he talked to alleviate his boredom. Harvey started to feel bad for forbidding Mike to speak during his games. He didn't know how Mike could handle it. Thankfully, Mike was polite and let Harvey speak and answered all of his questions. It was weird seeing Mike talk so passionately and, _giddy_, with appreciation and love for something not law. _Or me_, he thought proudly. As the meet drew to a close for the day, their conversation strayed to their plans tomorrow.

Tomorrow is Saturday, and Saturday means day off. A whole day to spend with Mike without interruptions and a day to avoid any and all work. The morning could not come any sooner.

"-and Josh invited me to hang out for the day with him. I'm thinking of going because it would be like old times, but substitute Trevor with Rachel. We are just going to do a bunch of stuff. We were going to have a barbeque and watch a few movies outside against their house with a projector once the sun goes down. I figured you wouldn't want to come, so you can have the day to yourself." Harvey was alert in an instant.

"No. You're kidding." He blurted abruptly. Mike stopped suddenly and looked at Harvey.

"…Excuse me?" he questioned slowly.

"Seriously? I was planning on spending the whole day with you, no interruptions, for an amazing sexcapade. But, no, you go and make plans; plans that don't involve me."

"I'm sorry? You can come along with you want, but I haven't seen Josh in three months and we have some serious catching up to do. We always have Sunday for our…sexcapade." Harvey just sighed in aggravation before climbing into his side of the bed (the left), throwing the covers over him, and closing his eyes in a huff. Mike rolled his eyes towards the ceiling and muttered some choice words under his breath, something along the lines of _petulant child, immature, _and _possessive. _

"Harvey," he said calmly, "I love you and your plan for tomorrow sounds amazing. However, you should have told me this before I made plans." Harvey rolled back over and glared at Mike, exasperated.

"You don't make plans for sex! It just happens! You should have known; it's been a week since we last had sex and I am seriously feeling repressed!"

"Well, I apologize for not being telepathic so I could pick up on your every want and need. We are married, Harvey, and married people _communicate_, or, they are supposed to, anyways."

"It was obvious!"

"And obviously it was not obvious enough for me! Look, it has been a long day and I don't want to argue this. I am still going to Josh's tomorrow, and on Sunday you can have me all to yourself, I promise." Mike's tone indicated that he was not going to relent. Harvey sighed in defeat.

"Good. That's settled," Mike climbed into bed and turned off the light on the nightstand before leaning over and kissing Harvey softly. "Good night. I love you."

Harvey curled around Mike, chest flush against his back, arm draped over his waist, fingers dancing across his skin. He breathed softly on the skin just below his ear, "I love you, too." Before placing a kiss in that spot.

Breaths evened out, hearts slowed, the lights of the city creating patterns on the floor through the wall size windows. Dreams entwined. The night lived.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: And so begins the second addition to this "thrilling" tale. I hope the first chapter was well enjoyed and I can't wait to continue this story that has been swimming around in my head since the pilot. I couldn't really make any fanfic on it because I don't like LJ and FF hadn't made a subcategory for the show yet. Also, I wanted to understand a little bit more on the character's past and what not, but no such luck…yet.

"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes." – Jim Carrey

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Chapter II

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The pan was sizzling and the aroma of coffee was wafting throughout the apartment. Sunlight was pouring through the windows – walls, no, wait – and Harvey's eyes fluttered open to find the space next to him empty. Slowly getting up, he sauntered into the kitchen to find Mike sitting on the island – shirtless, no less – sipping coffee from his mug and reading the latest edition of the paper. "Morning," Mike said without looking up from his paper. "Bacon is done; it's on the plate over there next to the bowl of eggs. There is coffee in the pot and two slices of fresh cinnamon bread in the toaster."

"When are you ever up early?" Harvey asked, still half-asleep. He walked behind Mike, kissing him on the back of the neck, chuckling quietly when Mike flinched.

"It's 8:30, not 5 AM. And do I at least get a thank you for making breakfast?"

"It was implied."

"Well, it wasn't inferred."

"No shit, Sherlock." Harvey filled his plate with food before sitting down at the table. "When are you leaving?" he said, if a little dejectedly.

"Josh is picking me up in an hour. I was planning on taking a shower in a few minutes." Harvey's ears perked immediately. _It's just too easy_, Mike thought. "Care to join me?"

"Nope."

"Liar. Finish your breakfast, and then come meet me." Mike walked into the bathroom and turned the water on. Harvey sat at the table taking a few more bites, ignoring the temptation. _Oh, fuck it, _he thought before placing his breakfast in the fridge and disrobing on his way to the shower.

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"_This _is your new car?"

"Yup. 2013 Audi R8 hard-top convertible, all mine. She's my baby, or my _other_ baby, rather."

"I'm jealous."

"Of course you would be, Rachel's hot. Oh wait, I don't need to tell you that. You already know for yourself." Josh joked knowingly. Mike glared in return before walking around the car and hopping into the passenger seat over the door.

"Oh, Josh, please, let's take a walk down memory lane to that one time junior year when you had the ridiculous crush on Julia Lazenby, and ended up getting thrown in a dumpster in Brooklyn by her linebacker boyfriend, Spencer Collins. Those were good times." Mike just chuckled when he felt Josh's fist come in contact with his shoulder.

"Jackass."

"Awwww, love you, too, sweetcheeks." The ride to Josh's condo was like this the whole way there. As they entered the condo, they were greeted by the inviting smell of cookies. Mike and Josh just about melted in the doorway while simultaneously gaining ten pounds each.

"You know what this reminds me of?" Josh whispered to Mike.

"No, what?"

"Going over to your house on Sunday mornings after church and your grandmother would make the best chocolate chip cookies."

"Those were damn good cookies. Good thing I have the recipe." Mike walked down the hall into the kitchen to greet Rachel, leaving Josh to stare after him in awe.

"Mike? Michael? Michael James Ross, you had better not be shitting with me right now. You have that glorious, delectable, scrumptious, gorgeous, magnificent, and oh-so-very-secret recipe from your grandmother?" He said appearing in the kitchen.

"Yes, Mr. Thesaurus, I do. Any other adjectives you would like to give me."

"No, not really. Adjectives are so five seconds ago. Let's move on to nouns. Oh! How's this noun: recipe." Mike rolled his eyes and looked towards Rachel. She shook her head towards him, her eyes telling him _"You're the one who befriended him in first grade." _

"I don't know, Josh. It seems too…three-syllable. Try moving onto five, those are the ten-cent words. Go ahead, give it a go." Josh flipped him the bird. Rachel shook her head in disbelief.

"Really, guys, are you serious? This is how you treat each other?"

"Yes, Rach. I flip him off to let him know that he holds a special place in my heart and that I love him truly and dearly, forever and always." He put his hands on her hips and leaned down to kiss her to prevent her from rolling her eyes. She easily melted into the kiss and instantly opened her mouth when she felt his tongue swipe her lips. He moaned in her mouth, the vibrations rippling across her body and his fingers brushed the skin peeking out from underneath her shirt when –

"You know, I feel like Giles from Season 4, Episode 9, Something Blue, when Willow's 'Thy Will Be Done' spell makes Giles blind and Spike and Buffy become engaged. You know the one I'm talking about; Buffy and Spike making out all over Giles' apartment and Giles complaining about the smacking of their lips. I feel like that, except I can actually see the whole thing, adding to the gross factor."

Josh and Rachel disentangled themselves, both faces bright red, before acknowledging Mike. "Bro, I hope you realize that you are the only person I know that would cockblock his best friend by comparing his kissing to an episode of Buffy." He walked over and hugged Mike. "You are the coolest nerd ever, and I love you for that."

"And anyways, Mike, you're one to talk. You are the one who introduced us, are you not."

"Yes, I did in fact introduce you, a moment I will regret until the end of my days." Rachel just laughed before taking a stack of files from work and shoving them into Mike's arms.

"Well then, mister, be that way. And while you're at it, you can finish these for me by Monday? If you could you would be a lamb. Here, have a cookie while you're at it." She teased as she shoved a cookie into his mouth.

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A trail of cookie crumbs from the kitchen to the living room sofa decorated the floor. Various glasses of milk, wine, water, beer, and soda littered the coffee table and plates were strewn across the floor while the occupants of the condo sat on the sectional in a comfortable silence. "How did Harvey take to the idea of his husband being taken away for the whole day?" Mike rolled his eyes and let the sarcasm weave itself into his tone.

"Oh, Harvey? He's relieved. He has the remote to himself and can watch a Yankees game without me asking questions the whole game and pestering him. Also, he told me that he wishes for me to hang out here every weekend so that he doesn't have to see me or hear my plethora of Buffy references." Josh snickered into his bottle of beer.

"And how are you and Harvey doing, marriage wise? All I get to really see is Lawyer Harvey and Lawyer Mike." Mike shrugged, not really knowing how to answer. He looked back on their year and a half of marriage and it seemed normal, everything going smoothly.

"I guess it's going fine. No big issues and we still want to be around one another so, I guess it's fine," Rachel and Josh looked at Mike in shock. "What? What do you want me to say?" Rachel cocked her eyebrow. "I mean, we haven't really fought, we've been at work most of the time, we know how to communicate with one another, and the sex is still great! What more can I say?" Rachel was stunned and a little disturbed (namely by the image of her superior and her friend having sex). Something was off.

"Mike, I didn't mean to…strike a nerve or anything. I apologize. I know that you and Harvey are great with one another. I'm not in the grandstands waiting for your marriage to fail. I was just simply wondering how things were going." Mike's shoulders slumped and his whole body relaxed. He didn't know what was going on. Everything was going fine, but…it was like something was missing.

"I'm sorry, I've just been a little touchy lately. I don't know what's going on. I'm very, _very _happy with Harvey, but it's like I'm missing something that I've never had. Sorry, I shouldn't bother you with this," Mike stood up to leave and hugged Josh and Rachel. "I'll just head home now. Thanks for everything today, guys. I really appreciate it. 'Night." He said walking out, accidentally slamming the door. He stood against with his back to the door, the firm glass and wood supporting him as if his legs were suddenly incompetent. His head was fuzzy and he couldn't process anything. A huge sigh escaped his lips. _Standing here like an idiot is going to get you nowhere, Michael. _He pushed himself off the door and hailed a cab.

Inside, Josh turned to Rachel, his eyes dancing with bewilderment. "What the hell was that?" Rachel opened her mouth to say something, but changed her mind and simply shrugged.

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Harvey sat at the table surrounded by boxes of Chinese food. His work had been finished, the Yankees played a horrible game, and hell, he even did laundry. The clock in the kitchen ticked, ticked, and ticked away. Sadly, there was no tock. The wood grain on the table was five seconds away from being counted. Harvey was _that _bored.

The past hour had found Harvey pondering how much he had changed. At first, he found Mike simply being his associate, his puppy. And then…he had clawed his way into Harvey without Harvey even noticing, and suddenly, he cared. He began noticing the shade of blue in Mike's eyes and how they changed with Mike's different emotions. He could tell when Mike stayed up all night working because of the dark circles underneath his eyes; he could tell when he skipped a few meals and when Mike was absolutely exhausted. Ranging from exhaustion to when Mike was worried and from hunger and jubilation, the little things were observed by Harvey.

And then Josh just had to move to New York from Portland. Harvey was jealous (of course, he denied this for as long as possible) about all the time Mike spent with Josh and how they got along so well. The one thing Harvey liked about Josh was his good influence on Mike (and maybe his hatred of Trevor). For weeks on end, it was Josh this, Josh that with a little bit of law in between. Then he saw Josh kissing Rachel Zane in her office and the sky was suddenly crystal clear. It wasn't until he got home that night that he realized what had happened. He had _feelings_ for one Michael James Ross.

Before he knew it, two months later he was dating his associate. They kept it under wraps, just like everything else that was huge in their career, except for Rachel and Josh. Then he found himself falling in love, something he thought he would never do, and decided to propose, a year after they had been dating. After that it spread around the office like wildfire, but neither he nor Mike gave a shit.

Before Mike, he would go to work, win cases, make snide remarks at Louis, argue with Jessica, banter with Donna, and have sex with lots and lots of pretty women. Now, he sat in his condo alone with a cool, metal band on his ring finger of his left hand, bored out of his mind because his husband decided to hang out with his friends for one day. _What has my life come to? I mean, how is Harvey Specter, son of Rupert and Carol Specter, pathet-_

Mike trudged through the apartment slowly, cutting off Harvey's thoughts. Harvey was astonished; he figured Mike would be okay after his whole day with Josh. Josh was the kind of guy that everybody wanted to hang out with because he just made you feel happy (when you weren't jealous). The narcissist in him was jumping with joy that Mike would have felt better if he had stayed with Harvey all day, but he instantly squashed that idiot down.

"Hey, Mike, what's wrong?" Mike jumped at the sound of Harvey's voice and shrugged in response. He was headed toward the bedroom until his path was blocked by Harvey's chest and Harvey's arms on Mike's waist. "No, you will not avoid me. What is wrong?"

Mike avoided Harvey's gaze and shook his head. He couldn't verbalize what was going on in his head. He couldn't even process his thoughts. His head hurt. Thoughts about what was going on rampaged at the outer layer of his skull while towards the center of his brain, everything he could remember was thrumming around making everything hurt. The lights made everything too bright. He closed his eyes and rested his head on Harvey's shoulder, willing the pain to go away.

Harvey felt the pressure on his shoulder and couldn't help but wrap his arms around his husband, drawing him as close to his body as possible. There was a vibration on his shoulder when Mike tried saying something. "What was that? It was somewhat…muffled."

"I love you." The corner of Harvey's mouth curled upwards and he couldn't resist leaning down and softly kiss his husband's lips.

"I love you, too." He murmured against Mike's mouth.


End file.
